wow

muntzster: lindsay lohans doing a mag naked
muntzster: score
muntzster: hahaha
Lost Inside Fear: WHEN!?
muntzster: idk
muntzster: she just said it today
Lost Inside Fear: fuck right
muntzster: well i noticed today when i did my daily lohan boob search
Lost Inside Fear: ill beat to that everyday for a week

once again.. im broken hearted

i have no clue anymore.. its all perfect then it all falls apart.. and as everyday goes by i keep feeling like im digging my own grave.. ive just been so upset lately.. smoking a pack a day.. always second guessing myself.. putting myself down.. always regreting shit i do.. i cant stand it anymore.. all i want is to be happy.. and i really do try.. but nothing ever seems to get better.. i just feel like im second best to everyone.. and on that note....


The impact, the aftershave, the european cigarettes
The taxi, the alcohol that lingers on your breath
The lipstick, the street lamp, the woolen overcoat
The front desk, you tell yourself, it isn't over yet

Second best, oh second best
I can learn to live with this
Plus I really need a rest
After all what's wrong with second best
What's wrong with second best

The motel, the distances, cave into kisses cold and wet
Familiar exchanges, like needle pulling thread
The empty movements that once were so inspired
Desperate attempts to fan the flames without a fire
The mattress creeks beneath
The symphony of misery and cum
Still we lie jerking back and forth
And blurring into one

Second best oh second best
I can learn to live with this
Plus I really need a rest
After all what's wrong with second best
What's wrong with second best
  • Current Music
    Pedro the Lion: Second Best

its been forever

im sorry for rejecting you LJ.. lol.. its been forever since ive updated you..

so lately was gonig great.. then it went to shit.. and i hate drinking for a time being.. probabaly 2 days yet..

today i was sick as shit.. and yeah..

well ill try to update more.. but i dont think anyone even reads this anymore because i havent updated in forever.. lol..

but i promise never to delete my first blog..
  • Current Music
    The Doors

THE 4TH

4th of july.. everybody ready to get fucked up.. hahahaha.. this should be a great night.. drunken firework fights..
  • Current Music
    Rage Against the Machine

(no subject)

We never met, you and I
We were always inside, we were somewhere inside
one another. And I'll live without you love,
but what good is one glove, without the other?

You only ask about my leaving,
well honey I had no choice, so
I call and (when you hear that heavy breathing)
for that sound of your voice.

But you sit there silent, folded arms
And look down as I walk by
Though my face has changed, you know it's me
You know by the stillness in my eyes.
Come and whisper in my ear, "you're very pretty, dear" and
"it'll be alright." You're lying!
But I don't mind tonight.

So I wander and I wander
Your absence beating inside my chest
I try but I can't remember
The color of your eyes- just the shape of her dress.

And through a garden overgrown
Oh, it's a long walk home.
I said I'd not come back, well I'm coming back-
and you'd better be alone.

You sit there silent, folded arms
As you smile, as i walk by
My face has shamed, But you know it's me, YOU KNOW ITS ME!
Come and whisper in my ear, "my dear! my dear!"
"it'll be alright." "it'll be alright."
"it'll be alright." "it'll be alright."
"it'll be alright." "it'll be alright."
No!NO!!

incredible weekend

what an incredible weekend its been.. wow.. ok.. friday night.. went to the mall met up iwth patty d.. and got a new pair of girl pants.. :D.. then i met up with heather and kayla.. and they wanted to go to tjmax and damons.. so i followed along.. then the rest of the night we just drove around.. it was alot of fun.. then they dropped me off at the diner.. and i saw soo many people i havent seen forever.. after that.. i got some beer then got a ride to steves.. then corey and jason came to get us.. and we went to sarahs house.. and we drank.. then we went to the diner.. and ate.. after that they dropped us off at steves and we passed the fuck out..

today was awesome.. first off stay-c picked me up at the mall and then we went to skin images and she got her collar bones pierced.. they look so fucknig awesome.. then we went to her house.. then we got patty d and ended up at the south hanover y show.. it was lame.. so stay-c and i ride up to newoxford.. we meet ilsa and corey there.. and we drive to lancaster to the chamillian club.. a static lullaby was playing.. so stay-c and i sat at the show and made fun of people all night.. i love being an asshole.. we only got to see two bands.. a static lullaby of course.. and then some other band who was really good.. they were like a funk type band.. then we left.. and ilsa dropped stay-c and i off at her car.. then stay-c took me home.. and im here now.. lol..

to all the people that i saw this weekend.. thank you.. it was the best birthday weekend ive had.. and i hope next years is even better.. hahaha

and tomorrow im looking forward to hopefully hanging out with heather.. :D
  • Current Music
    James Brown

something i wrote

watching the moisture run down my glass
its like the tears i have cried for you
as the cigarette slowly burns away
i can see the smoke in my breath
the whiskey's getting real old
real quick
but the bottle keeps getting lower
and i keep getting a false warmth
the warmth i had when you were by my side
i no longer have that
the magic that lit up the room when you walked in
can you still remember when you told me to walk away
i followed what you said
walked away from that moment
i did it because i loved you
that night tore my heart apart
i still havent found the rest of my heart
but its slowly, slowly finding me